Shame is something that can hang around and haunt you.

Shame can make you fearful of speaking out loud.

Shame can tear you down so that you don't even know if you have an opinion.

Shame can make you not trust yourself.

Shame can blow holes in anything you used to think was safe.

Shame can control your life.

I shared my book. I wrote it and published it and shared it with the world. People have read the book. I got to hear what some of them had to say about the book during a bookclub meetup that Cassandra Dallett put together for me.

“Should we say ‘you’ or ‘the narrator,’” someone asked at the beginning.

“I think I would prefer if we use ‘the narrator,’” I said, trying to sound professional but really just wanting the heat off of me. I couldn't stand the idea of being asked questions about the things that I did and the things that had happened to me. “When you were being kidnapped and thinking about jumping out of the car…”

We're talking about the book. We’re talking about the narrator. Even if it's about me, I don't want to make it more about me.

I wrote this book so that I could take this shame out of me, to remove some of the confrontation, to confront it and show that I am in control.

I wrote it to feel less ashamed, and to help others feel less shame. If being abused is a common experience, and it is, maybe we don't have to feel shame. Maybe we can talk about it freely so that we can help stop the cycle. Help others call it what it is.